Happy summer, Creatives! I hope this finds you inspired and enjoying the long days and warm nights. My son is in France for the summer, Mia is in a production of The Jungle Book, and I’m writing, resting, and meditating on the changes we are experiencing in our world. I’m also excited to chat with you over the next few posts about your personal and professional brand. 

Why are brands important? Because they create a resonance—a vibe—for you to experience and share your life with others. My brand/vibe is a no-nonsense, mystic business leader; when I’m at the office in NYC, members of our management and the C-suite call me for a tarot reading. I’ve loved giving readings since I was a child, and I adore using magic to shift business outcomes—so being “on brand” allows me to live my passion, and to experience mysticism and spirituality in the business world. When you are “on brand” it allows others to know who you really are, what you love and your values, therefore your brand has a tremendous impact on how you are seen and experienced by others, and how you in turn will see and experience your life.

In this series of posts, we’re going to talk about the power of the four mindset shifts in order to create a natural, authentic brand—one that doesn’t feel like it owns you, but that you can easily and effortlessly flow into. Let’s start with the fact that…

     1. You Are Not a Guru.
So take the pressure off yourself. Being a brand is simply being a flavor and feeling for others to sample and experience—it’s simply having a point of view that is not censored. You have a worldview that may or may not resonate with others, so, take the pressure off you and your creative work and simply express what you believe in, how it helps you, then how it might help your audience will come naturally. You are not a guru, isn’t that a huge relief? 

     2. Express don’t Preach. 
Have you ever been to a dinner party where one of the guests is trying to convince everyone else to meditate a certain way, buy Bitcoin, or become vegan? If you are expressing your point of view, it doesn’t mean you have to coerce others to be like you, or to see the world as you do. Be inclusive in your expression, share what is real for you about that meditation or that diet, and then let it go. If you don’t get a response in the form of heads nodding, “likes,” or clicks, that’s ok. You being you and expressing it truthfully will eventually bring you the audience that is just right.  Expressing your worldview is a gift to you before it’s a gift to others, if you are doing it for a response, you’re doing it for the wrong reasons.

     3. Share don’t Teach.  
Ever notice the difference when you tell a friend what she should do, versus saying, “What has worked for me, that might have value for you is…” Same with your branding. Whether you are a personal coach, writer, founder, or any other role where others are looking to you to learn, reframe “teaching” into sharing. The difference is a subtle shift, but it liberates both you and your audience by making the content optional and only one possibility among many. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to show Mia how to do a math problem and she showed me a totally new way of thinking of it. We both arrive at the correct answer, but when I am simply sharing how I do it, versus “how it’s done” then it opens the possibilities for me to learn as well. You are here to share your world and what you’ve learned, not to claim to be a teacher of how “it’s done.” Your POV is one option in a sea of infinite possibility.

     4. Be Invisible.
There is an Instagram poet who has sold nearly 100,000 hardcover poetry books of his work and his photography. Our sales staff at Simon and Schuster are mightily impressed, and everyone is happy with the results. The poet wore a mask to his book tour and wrote under a pen name. None of us have ever seen his face, nor do we know his real name (perhaps the legal department does, or accounting, in order to send him his checks).  

Why does he opt to be anonymous?
His editor said he wants to, “Write what he feels, not what he thinks he should feel.”

This is a brand.

Authenticity cherished above fame.

Truth above being right.

Expression over recognition.

Sharing from the heart, not the ego

What would it take to be yourself? Do that. 

This is the only real branding advice you need.

You are the offer.

You yourself are an offer to the world. Is the offer true to your heart, or true to what the trends may say is “hot.” What you are feeling informs what you express, and feelings are everything. Feelings translate while data may not.

When the tea company hired a CEO, I helped him. We clashed a lot though because we had two different ways of doing things. He would look at sales data, analyze it, and then create a product that was “on trend” with the market. I call this “outside in” business. It leads to copycat products and failure because if you’re looking at a trend, it’s probably almost over.

I always went into the blending room, blasted Fleetwood Mac, and asked my heart for inspiration. From there much was created from the pure creative flow. While many of the products came from external feedback—like seeing coconuts hanging over a chai stall, much of the most successful products—like the Gypsy Tea Parties—were totally inspired from a vision, a dream, or a prayer that welled from deep within my soul. That is “inside out” business and branding. You might be a few years ahead of your time with this method of creating, but it’s much better to be ahead than behind.

I hope this branding post and our ideas are helpful for your personal and professional branding journey. As we work on the exciting upcoming program for our class of 2019 POP Mastermind, this subject is hot on my mind and in my heart! Meet me in the comments here …I look forward to catching up with you all also on social! xx

As I continue my annual spring cleaning ritual, I’ve been thinking about why we collect, gather, accumulate and seemingly attract more stuff into our lives. With my coaching & consulting clients, it’s often the same—except they accumulate ideas, products, and projects—there is a “more is more” mentality that I believe comes from deep below the surface of our psyches—perhaps even from our ancestors, and it can create confusion on what we should be writing, building or doing now. With this in mind, today’s essay has some tools for you to use to clear out the closets of your psyche—so that you can experience more clarity, aliveness, and joy. Here we go!

I’m a more is more girl. If one B12 works, then two should open the gates of heaven. If one taco blows my taste buds, then two will bring me redemption. If a quarter plate of gnocchi is what I should eat, then a whole plate should satisfy every nook and cranny of my soul’s desire to be one with God. If I’m making money at something, I launch another thing to go simultaneously so I can make more. If one Moroccan pillow looks great on the bed, I’ll add three more—just in case.

If you feel driven by a “more is more” mentality, you may discover it’s in your genes, in your very wiring (thanks, Grandma!). Our very cellular structures are imprinted with memories, drives, and desires of which we may not even be conscious. We subconsciously run by the desires of the past while our righteous minds lecture us on what we should be doing now! Once, in a writing workshop, we were asked to create a villain, I named mine Voratia. Voratia, as you might rightly assume, is short for Voracious. She’s the part of me that cannot get enough, of anything!

As we clear out the accumulated stuff from this past year, we may have these tugging instincts to keep more than we possibly need or even want. My computer desktop and emails, for instance, give my Virgo friends heart palpitations. We want more success, more likes, more love, more money. Maintaining a “more is more” lifestyle is also very American, and for the entrepreneurs out there—there is a point when our prolific idea-making mind needs to chill out so we can rest!

So, how do you get comfortable in the space of less?

How can we uncover our subconscious drives as we prepare for summer, so we can spend more time dancing, playing and enjoying our lives rather than maintaining all of the extra energy it takes to hold onto so much?
​​​​
First, we need to name it for what it is: FEAR.

FOMO, Fear of Missing Out.

Fear of letting go.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of not having enough.

Fear of not fulfilling our destiny…

FEAR: The More-is-More MOTIVATOR

Wherever you are fearful of letting go of a thing, habit or idea, you can look at the core of it by asking yourself: What do I fear I’ll lose if I give this up?

As you clear the clutter out of your art studio, inbox, idea folder, closet or calendar, what items do you cling to? For me, it’s not just closets, it’s everything; I am loath to release even one of my 300+ URL’s (I mean who knows, I might someday want to launch that soul-society tv show, and all the URL’s are there to simply promise it is still a possibility!)

What do you fear to release?

That someone else will do it? (but will you ever really do it?)

That you might lose weight and be able to wear that again? (do you really care to get that skinny again?)

That you worked so hard to be able to afford that wardrobe? (but it’s not even your style anymore—and may never be in style again!)

​​​​

TRANSMUTING FEAR : PRACTICING ALCHEMY

This week, let’s do an experiment around fear. It’s psyche-alchemy and works every time for my clients. I think it is both useful and empowering. Here’s the practice:

   – When you begin to feel urgency around releasing something, stop and notice it.

   – Make the sound, Hmmmmmm…and breathe very consciously.

   – Notice where you are feeling the urgency in your body and then breathe into that spot until it begins to get warm.

Often, when we feel urgency, we reach for another cup of tea, coffee, social media, or food. We avoid the urgency by checking the news or rattling off another email. But, to consciously clean house, you can’t take in more “stuff” to quell the sense of urgency—that sense is based on fear.

   – The next step is to sit or stand, swaying with the sense of urgency and feel into it with closed eyes and the curious sound of Hmmmmmm…

Visualize the urgency right where it is in your body. Stare at it with your inner eyes. For that moment in time, don’t run to the gym or away, but stand or sit in place. Usually, if you stay with the feeling long enough, with eyes closed, you will see an actual scene or an energy that has a color or personality to it.  You can then follow it to a memory. Sometimes the memory isn’t even yours, but could be your mom’s, grandmother’s or another person’s in your line.

   – If you see a scene, simply watch it.

I have seen many scenes arise in these moments that weren’t even mine. I have seen violence, sexual assault, and I’ve also seen myself hiding from an enemy—these were not my memories from this lifetime but somehow arose. I’ve also seen things from my own life, like a boy who used to sit on my chest, pin me down, and spit on me (my neighbor boy growing up). I’ve also seen symbols, beautiful light, and other imagery that didn’t make sense at the time. Sometimes the feeling of urgency is that I am supposed to pay attention to a message coming through—an intuition for instance around a health issue.

All of this can happen in a few minutes, or sometimes it can take a while. But, when you stick with the feeling, you will be able to dissipate the fear, that urgency in your body that sends you into keeping the cycle going.

   – You can then journal, asking yourself these questions:

Am I willing to accept this part of me?

Am I willing to accept that this is part of me even if it’s not “mine?”

Am I willing to embrace and nourish this part of me?

Am I willing to transform this part of me?  (I then usually visualize the feeling or scene turning into a bird and flying into the sky)

When you can honestly say yes to each of these and feel it in the space that had the urgency in your body, then you have moved through the fire. Keep moving, through releasing the items, habits, ideas, things (and maybe even people) that are holding you back.

When you find yourself feeling anxiety, worry, or any other emotion that doesn’t serve you or that sends you into a habit that you know isn’t good for you, or into that More is More space, you can then reclaim yourself and clear the habit by doing this fear-cleansing practice. It’s a little like a therapy or hypnosis session that you can do as you clean out the closets of your psyche. It’s a “block and tackle” approach that will save you time, money, and ultimately peace of mind.

I hope this helps you as you experience more of you and less need to mask your feelings with the habits that don’t serve you. I am reminded so often to do this as I’m prepping for a new set of offers, creating new workshops, and designing new programs—I don’t want anything I create to be based on an underlying fear.

I want everything to have the “sparklies.” When I’m writing like my life depends on it, leaking all that fear into run-on sentences, I know to do this practice. It’s a true helper in life. It is a key to living in discernment and self-responsibility while alchemizing fear into clear, pure, soul-directed motivation. Yes, we are one with each other and the world. We are one with the ancestors and those whose DNA informs our cells. We are one with it all, but to release it all so we can truly live OUR LIVES takes the courage to become an alchemist, a transformational leader.

I send you my love, may you find more you today in the process of doing less. Here’s to more you, less fear. More you, less worry. More you, less doing.

In the tarot deck I use, there is a card called: The Outsider. It’s an image of a child looking through a fence at a rainbow hued landscape just beyond his locked reach. When I read the cards of executives, clients, and colleagues, this card often appears, and it’s been weighing on me to write to you about it because I notice most creatives and entrepreneurs have a bit of an “outsider syndrome” that can sometimes serve success, and sometimes dismantle it.

I just returned from a week of work at the Simon and Schuster New York office. I marvel that I’ve been a publisher there for four years—where did the time go? Before I was a publisher there, I was a scout for them—pretty much an Editor-at-Large for new talent. So, all in all, it’s been nearly five years!! When I left the tea company, I had a lot of big plans for my writing. I made a long list of the books that were knocking on the door of my creative womb and began in earnest to get each of them going—but then came this opportunity and it was just too exciting to turn down.

I became swept up into the NYC publishing world. I fell more deeply in love with my boss and her visionary way of moving through the landscape of corporate America. She was my business muse. I used to tell her I couldn’t work for anyone, but wanted to work for her. I became her dedicated pupil, single-minded in learning everything from this mystical genius who seemed to live outside normal perimeters of business. An anomaly in publishing, I’ve heard, Judith focused on her intuition, her heart, and in the power of the Law of Attraction. Her style, humor, and smart rebelliousness reflected a woman who is at home in her authenticity. She brought me into her fold and this nourished the parts of me that had felt like an outsider to my life. I used to call her “My Queen.” And I meant it!

When Judith left a couple months ago, it was a sudden shock to all of our lives. Tears were shed, and suddenly there was a vacuum in my own life that I felt driven to fill. The sparkling parts of my job as a publisher under her care seemed to vanish. The fairy dust had left the building. That’s the thing about people in their own magic, they illuminate the pathway of what’s possible for others. But more than anything, Judith was an integrated outsider—a woman who has mastered a system enough to rebel within it. She brought people into her company through warmth, ensuring they knew she wanted them—she picked people out of the crowd and hired them—making all of us feel like insiders. She’s the one that celebrated when the tea company fired me—by hiring me! I mean, who does that!?

Being picked feels like winning the lottery. When you get picked, it’s like the whole world shifts into seeing you. You feel intimate with the day to day in the same way that falling in love makes the world sparkle and feel inclusive. I remember when a good friend long before I began working there got a publishing deal with Simon and Schuster, she sat in my living room all aglow and beatific. It reminded me of when Gerard told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me—there was nothing that could make me feel outside of my life in that moment.

A lot of people pitch me their books. I can’t go to a party or industry event without getting pitched. It makes being social at times very uncomfortable for me. I want to connect on a deep level, and not have any agenda in my interactions, but being a publisher is like being a Hollywood producer—people pin their dreams on you picking them. It’s a form of being seen, or feeling like they aren’t an outsider to their own lives, because so many people feel like one. So many of us are in pain over a dual existence of wanting to be seen and also wanting to express ourselves—our vulnerability, our dreams, our most sacred ideas, all.

But this is where feeling like an outsider to your life gets expensive. You have an agenda to be validated, picked, seen, heard and affirmed, but the problem is you’re looking for it from someone outside you. You’re looking for the agent to pick you up. You’re looking for the publishing deal to validate you somehow. You’re looking for the press hit, or the social likes, or the boss who sees your gifts and talents more than even you do. Then what happens? The boss quits and moves on. The publishing deal doesn’t actually save your marriage or help you feel less insecure. The nod from the agent doesn’t actually alleviate your pain when you’re alone with your own doubts and fears. You realize you are the same. You will never be on the inside of your life if you are expecting someone outside of you to validate it.

What makes you feel inside of yourself? What makes the rainbows shine for you when no one else is around? Who are you when the lights are out, and the dark night fills the sky. Are you a star? Yes, you are. You are literally made of stardust. What could be more miraculous than your human DNA forming from ancient particles of an exploding universe? I mean, let’s just sit with that for a minute.

What does a person look, feel and sound like when they are the insider of their own life? Well, they dance to the beat of their own drummer. They are not derivative, but original. They don’t really need you to tell them they are great. They are on purpose in a way that makes you want to circle them. They are not a gaping energetic hole looking for you to fill it. They are secure, curious, humble, delicious in a way.

The energetics of being around someone in what I call their Original Intent—their destiny—is that you can tell they don’t need you but life will be more fun if you get a moment in their sphere. When you are not feeling like an outsider to your life, when two insiders collide, there is magic, an astronomical energy boost, a dance that may last a minute or five years, but whatever it is, it’s filled with high vibes and possibility. The trick is to become the insider to your life by claiming it.

Judith leaving us was not Judith leaving us. While at first everyone wanted to take it personally, it was not her thinking of anything other than how she can continue to be the insider of her own path, her own trajectory and growth. Pretty badass if you ask me.

When you find yourself wanting to make a scary move, toward more of what you really want, beware the outsider syndrome that makes you dependent on what others might think. From my clients and others, I see the Outsider Syndrome play out when there is an energetic gap in what you are here on earth to do, and what you are actually doing. You’ll know when you’re entirely inside your own life when that feeling of insatiability is quenched. For me, it’s going back to writing. Time and again, when I write daily, even the kids notice and mention that I’m happier, more centered, and they like it.

Take inventory this week of what you deeply desire, and what you’re actually spending most of your time on. The gap between the two is where you get to shift, move and dance—filling the gap with your authenticity and original intention. Make it a game, make it a journey, but make it open the fence to the rainbow hued garden just past the gate.

Love you all,

We’re three months into our POP Mastermind with ten amazing women and one amazing man. What has been most notable has been the transformations in these brave people’s lives when they realize they can not only own their business destiny, but that they deserve to. My heart explodes in all sorts of love beams every time I see one of their faces light up in this realization.

We also concluded two, six-month writing masterminds where women from all walks of life gathered each month and turned in substantial pages for others to read and give feedback, clarification and love. The bonds, new friendships, and work produced were exquisite—a form of creativity as an offering to others is a selfless and often thankless task. Each woman would often turn in their pages with serious doubts, only to find the others loving their pages and gushing praise. This is my true honor to facilitate. I’m humbled and honored to be trusted with the hearts of creatives.

There are many spiritual paths to choose in the world, but I have found none as deeply satisfying as that of a business person. In business, we are asked to make very thorough plans in order to build revenues either with integration and light, or selfishness and fear. We are given a series of choices every single day that being an employee does not give us. We are asked to stand for something over and over and over, and our employees’ tender hearts and minds are ours to grow or not. Business repeatedly gives us the choice of faith and trust or fear and anxiety. I remember sitting at my desk looking at the tea company financials and seeing just how many livelihoods were in my hands and shuddering at the responsibility. One really bad move and it would all be over, I’d think. Then I’d pray and keep going.

I believe the best business people are those that understand the depths of their offerings as offerings to the sanctity of all life. When you make a decision in business, it impacts not only your family, but also the environment, the people whose efforts go into serving your business, and the universe as it imprints into creating a positive or negative replication of either love or fear. Business asks us to make money, which can be made with love and generosity or fear and greed.

We are seeing the inside workings of business now in our news cycle. We see greed and corruption in business through the workings and exposures of Donald Trump. We are also shown the light and good works but we don’t see much of that in the news—for that we have to search and seek. With the situation of Facebook selling your information to manipulate you, we see the duality of a platform that brings us closer and helps us during natural disasters as well as the underbelly of it in the name of profit and control. With all things, light and dark. With earth, we are tasked with choosing one or the other in our daily lives.

I want to honor all of you who are choosing to take a risk in your creative work—which will inevitably become a business, and your business if you are an entrepreneur of some sort. If you have a day job and a side hustle, brava. If you have a day job and a side-creative hustle like a novel, bravo. You are needed in the new world we are forming. Your words, your choices, your love, all a tender offering to our world.

Take heed, keep going, choose love in your day to day operations. Choose aliveness and ease and grace and grit. Do not stop when you feel discouraged because that feeling is your clue that success is just over the hill.

We will be offering some very exciting one-day workshops soon, I am dedicated to making business and creative work fun and joyful. We have enough fear and worry, let us make our offerings in the world filled with passion and joy.

Enjoy your week, visit me in the comments, we’re in this together.

Who were you when you first came to earth?

What code did you carry in your soul to unlock your earthbound lessons?

What are you here to do and who are you here to be?

These questions come up a lot for me. Daily really. I think about the nature of existence quite a bit. I’m only interrupted by my work as a publisher and my duties as a mom.

If you happen upon me, I’m probably wondering what the elemental nature of all existence is, and how to summarize that into a delicious set of words and ideas for your benefit. Because I think of you a lot. I wonder how you’re feeling and if you need a friend. I wonder if you’re writing or if you need a group to get you writing again. I consider you when I’m dreaming or taking a training or going through the latest and greatest B-School or launching a course, a writing class, a coaching training, or business mastermind.

Because when I’m alone, you are with me. I carry you in all ways. Authentically, that’s who I am and what I’m doing here.

It’s hard to get a weekly note out when I’m thinking about time. But when I think of you it’s so easy.

It’s hard to balance being a publisher with my own writing. I admit. But I love books, so I handle it. I love my authors, and readers, and that makes it all worth it.

We’re going to get more real now, you and I. Because it’s time. I’ve been interviewing and studying the effects of near death experiences on those who have survived, and they have a clear message for you.

Live.

Live as if it were the only thing you were here to do.

Live as if you were meant to be you. Because you are.

Live on your whims and by your desires.

Live in service to experiencing love.

Live in your senses. Live in your body. Touch, taste, sing, soar.

You’ll wake up a different person tomorrow, so LIVE your full you today.

You’ll never be the same again. You’ll have this moment once, and then poof.

You’ll experience this hour only once. You’ll see this sunrise only once. Tonight’s dusk is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Life on earth is finite for a reason. It’s meant for you to exploit and devour every second of it.

You only get to be you today, this once, and then you’re someone else tomorrow.

Your soul is watching and experiencing the world through your delicious senses.

The who you were when you were born is the soul, the who you are now is the adventure.

Does that you desire to be writing? Uplifting others for monetary exchange?

Owning your crown as the queen of an empire (aka business)?

Those that have died and come back know that life on earth is love, in detail.

What is your love in detail?

Mine? Sipping oolong now in the morning sun, thinking of you.

Gazing across the yard into a fire-seared mountain landscape shimmering in the light.

Writing this for you. About to edit a manuscript, for you.

Noticing how I feel. The incense wafting through the air. The oolong sweet on my lips.

The cold air slinking through the screen of my studio, causing shivers, causing aliveness.

When we are not in our bodies, we are in a state of pure love. The NDE survivors mostly explain their experiences the same. Love. A choice to come back. Choosing life on earth because that love will always be there, but this life is precious. More precious than the afterlife is the life you get to live now.

You only get to be you once.

You only get to be you right now, in this moment, once.

You only get to experience this slant of light or that sound in this timeline once.

How will you spend it? Who will you be? What will you make? Where will you go?

Are you waiting to live until you get the book deal?

Are you waiting to live until you get the vacation?

Are you waiting to live until you hit that first million?

Are you waiting to live because your day job is paying the bills—and someday you’ll be your own boss, then you’ll live?

What if living your hopes and desires now meant everything else would fall into place?

Because it will.

It will.

I know this seems a little Carpe Diem, but if writing Love in Detail has taught me anything, it’s that living now, smack dab in the center of your ups and downs and confusion and chaos, and peace and wonder is the whole point.

The point of life is you. Live today without worry because tomorrow you’ll be a different person. Live today as if it was the last day of your life, because it is—tomorrow your life will be different. Turn off doubt, and turn on life. Your destiny is waiting for you to simply tune into it. What matters today is that you are comfortable being you, even if that you is feeling uncomfortable today. Being you is the best job you can have. When you’re fully present in your body, in your mind, and in your heart, the book deal comes naturally. The revenue rises naturally. The tribe and lover appear more easily. Just be you and live today as if it was the most finite resource in an infinite universe. Your soul will thank you.

I hope this is a good little shot in the arm for you today. Thanks for being here with me. Thanks for reading the words that flowed effortlessly for you. I consider these blogs my love notes to you and am infinitely grateful that my authentic, child of wonder self loves writing these notes to you.

Now I’m off to learn what being Zhena means today…tea cup in hand, state of wonder in heart, curious desire to express pulling me along.

Come visit me in the comments, I love your reading your gorgeous reflections.

Enjoy your day, enjoy being you,

This week started out like any other. The Monday morning launch meeting for Enliven Books was fabulous. I presented Quantum Success, The Ghost Photographer, Living Light, and teased out Revolution Generation. All of these books I’m quite excited about, and the response to them was fabulous. I was flying “high” as I do when presentations go well. Seeing my phone ring with our Vice President’s name made me think I was being congratulated, what happened next wasn’t expected.

With a sorrowful tone, our VP said he had some tough news. My immediate thought was, “Oh, they are letting me go, poor guy has to break the news to me.” (Self-esteem issues, anyone??) But instead he told me that our President, my mentor, was leaving the company. My stomach dropped. I felt pressure build in my chest, making its way all the way up through my throat and then shooting from my eyes—tears that were so big and bold they were unstoppable. We said some kindnesses to one another as I hung up the phone and began to sob in my seat.

I thought, “But, I don’t know publishing without my boss! I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her asking me to!”  I know I love it now and always loved books, but she saw something in me I did not see! She believed in me after I’d been fired by the chairman at the tea company. She gave me back my dignity!

Mourning throughout the next three days took on a poignant beauty. I had heightened emotions and also heightened appreciation. I meditated more and prayed that the Universe would help me adjust and find my way without my leader, my queen, my mentor. It’s been four years under her tutelage, what if I’m ready now to claim my own role as a leader in the industry? What if instead of leaving a vacuum, she’s left me a call to action?

YOUR LEADERSHIP ROLE AWAITS

I don’t know about you, but I have often put others on a pedestal. Although people who open doors for us are the emissaries of our greatness, if we believe we cannot do it without them, where does that leave us when they leave? What happens when hero worship turns into a crutch to our greatness?

I remembered many times I was hesitant to take a risk until I received my mentor’s approval. I thought back to times when I didn’t feel I could make a move without her nod. Although it’s important to understand we are not masters of something until we’ve mastered it, it’s also crucial we don’t completely surrender to our leaders that we wait on the sidelines of our potential.

Where are you holding back because you’re waiting for approval or permission?

Are you hoping to get an agent, or a book deal, while your book could be self-published?

Are you waiting for someone in the press to recognize you so you can feel seen?

Are you adjusting your original dream to fit some trend in the marketplace?

All of these are ways we surrender our intrinsic value for the illusion of being not enough, or not ready. Sometimes we aren’t ready until an outside situation shows us that in fact we are.

THE BALANCE BETWEEN LEARNING AND LEADING

What would it take for you to stop gathering feedback as if your life depended on it and dive in?

How do you know when you’re ready to self-edit your novel and get it out there?

When do you know when you’ve learned enough to lead?

What are you looking to others for that you yourself are meant to provide?

What do we hold back because we wait for permission to claim our role, or for recognition in an approval process?

When you’ve been learning, taking classes, practicing your craft, following and reading the wisdom of others, you can choose to stay passive in that, or you can choose to take the wisdom and become the leader of your life in full. You can take the help you’ve received as you also take the helm.

There hasn’t been a day I haven’t been grateful for my mentor’s guidance. Seeing her as my tether to NYC publishing is also not fair to myself nor to her. Feeling like she “left us” is a codependency and an excuse for me to not step into my own role of leadership. We often do this even with people we don’t know. We think, “Oh she already wrote that book, so there won’t be a market for mine.” Or, “My business/product won’t have value because I don’t have this or that.” We subjugate our greatness before we even attempt our great leap. We often hand our power over without vetting its true place in the world.

THE SILVER LINING

After a couple days of inquiry, I realized, Judith didn’t leave me, she left to see what else was possible for her. It took courage to leave a company/imprint she’d founded 15 years ago. It took strength to take a leap into her own unknown.

She didn’t leave us in her absence, she invited us into our future. She didn’t drop us, she gifted us a way forward to be leaders now in our own right. In her absence, she is still mentoring us, and me, to step into and claim our rightful roles as leaders—to stop needing her. Her wisdom in departing continues to teach me what a true leader does, they take their own growth as paramount, and they do not expect you to be dependent on them. They do not make you need them. They follow their heart and their own path, and if you’re on their path for a period of time, you’re damn lucky. I know now that I’m ready to lead and claim my role, had she never left, I may never have known that.

UNTETHER YOURSELF

I wonder what it would look like if you unapologetically went for your own brass ring today. Would you buy that URL, build that site and kick some content booty? Would you click “publish” on that super honest, searing blog? Would you stop waiting for approval and seek your own satisfaction?

Where are you waiting to take your leadership role? When will you claim your expertise more fully? Are you waiting for your mentor to crown you capable? What if she’s not there anymore? What if it’s solely up to you?

I’m looking forward to hearing how and what you’ll claim. I adore you, thank-you for taking this time with me. See you in the comments!

With Love,

How is 2018 for you so far?
What are your goals for the year?
Want a little boost and some encouragement to help you reach them?

If your answer is yes, then we’re off to a great start 🙂

One of my resolutions for 2018 is to share more success secrets with you. I realized that I’ve been giving a keynote for several years to the Women’s Economic Ventures that has super-charged strategies for slaying goals and I thought, “Why haven’t I shared these with my friends on my list?” So, we’re going to just that this Saturday at 10 am Pacific!

This will be an interactive webinar, or as I prefer to call it: A Playdate with Your Destiny!

You’ll receive gifts to:
* Learn the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation & why this distinction matters.
* Clarify and align with your passion so your life can be integrated by joy.
* Redefine success as an activity for your mind, body and spirit – not just your bank account.
* Envision life as you were meant to live it with daily tools you can take to the bank.

Join me live:
WHEN: Saturday, January 27th 10:00 am PST
WHERE: Register at zhena.tv/webinar to get your link!

I hope you’ll join me for this soul-encouraging hour…I’m ready to play and enjoy success with you in exciting new ways this year.

See you Saturday!

In Light,

We’ve been in fire-flood-flu fatigue in California. We’ve lost neighbors in the Montecito Mudslides, and have experienced the loss of the beautiful forests that bring us renewal. Blackened trees and meadows, interspersed with the twisted metal and stone of fire-devoured homes has overwhelmed many of our nervous systems. Each time I see a friend in the grocery store or on the street, instead of “Hi,” I say, “Are you ok?”

It’s been both tender and poignant. I live next to national forestland with majestic mountains above my home. During the Montecito Mudslides, we had huge boulders and even pieces of a guesthouse come down the creek bed and fly past the lower part of our property. From the geological maps, our property is in an 80%-100% mudslide risk zone. Needless to say, the next time rain is in the forecast, and for the foreseeable future, we will have to evacuate. Dog, cats, kids, and our Leopard Gecko, all piled in a car heading to…where?

And that seems to be how many of us are coping here, wondering where there is, wondering where it is safe from climate change and the risks of Mother Nature’s wild healing process—which rarely takes us humans into account—fitting considering we’ve not taken Mother Nature into account as we’ve continued to release fossil fuel CO2 into the air as if the atmosphere was an infinite resource.

You may or may not yet know what it is like to live in limbo, in mourning, and in uncertainty. You may live in this way every day due to a health issue or something you need to work through on a regular basis. The last time I felt this way was when my son was a baby, and there was so much uncertainty it overwhelmed each day.

Each time I see rain in the forecast, instead of rejoicing because we need the water, I am planning a safety route for myself and our family. Each time I check on friends on Facebook I am seeing the losses mount just a few miles from us in Montecito. It’s painful. It feels heavy. It weighs on our hearts with the density of loss.

Throughout it all and in between the sorrow, as I work, waves of creativity, energy and even joy keep washing through me. And each time they do, I wonder, “Is it okay to feel these waves of aliveness and joy when the world is suffering?”

The answer is yes.

Joy, creativity, happiness and other positive emotions are like the psyche’s antibiotics. They help us heal when there are wounds. They help us overcome the gravity of being alive in the face of hard times. They help us carry on and build our world anew when the world as we know it crumbles.

Saying yes to the joy that comes in between the waves of heartache might make you feel guilty, but don’t let it. Say yes to the creativity that comes from the edge of existence. Say yes to the love that weaves together the hands of children and mothers. Say yes to the wonder that arises as you gaze at the finches or the hawks. Say yes to joy, creativity, wonder and awe when the world feels dreary, dense and confusing.

Your life depends on it.

Say yes to aliveness, even if it means ongoing evacuations for the time being.

Say yes to gathering your tribe close.

Say yes to writing through the pain.

Say yes to joy as it overwhelms, overcomes, and overturns gravity itself.

Last Sunday, my daughter Mia and I went to help Enliven Author, Michaela Boehm clean up her fire-ravaged farm, home and property. When we arrived, there were a dozen people from our community digging holes, planting trees, and moving debris from what was once her vital vegetable garden. The smell, the sight, the twisted metal and evidence of destruction felt heavy and deeply sad. As we walked up, there was Michaela, directing everyone and laughing. She was smiling from ear to ear. She handed me a bucket of fuchsia-pink paint and asked me to pain the goat’s hay house.

I said, “This doesn’t feel like it’s helping all that much, what is something bigger I can do?”

She replied, “You’re on dignity duty, painting that little house this bright color will give it back its dignity.” We laughed. 

A friend’s 3-year old then came up and got in on the action, painting with his whole being. As he dove into the hay and started painting the inside of the little structure, the adults started laughing. I looked over at my daughter who was feeding a burrow. I looked to the left and saw a group rebuilding a fence and talking through smiles. Another friend was using wire cutters to free a gnarled fence, while her baby drooled over her shoulder. Another Enliven author, Teo Alfero of The Wolf Connection was moving boulders and fallen limbs with a tractor he’d driven up on his trailer.

When the work was done, Michaela gave us all a beer and gave the kids some brownies. Mia made up a skit and had everyone giggling. Michaela, who’s lost so very much was the easiest to crack up and her energy was effervescent. She is saying yes to aliveness. Through Michaela, we are watching joy overwhelm gravity.

How are you feeling, sweet friend? Tender? Joyful? Full of life despite the sorrows of the world?

Let us commune in the comments. I love hearing and sharing with you. I am also hosting a webinar for us all next week that will hopefully give you some added inspiration as you start 2018 and continue to build your dreams. I hope this note helps you overcome gravity just a little. I am praying for each and every one of you.

With Joy,

Click the image to register for my free webinar next week:

I once dated a very rich, powerful, and dynamic man who had a lot of women falling over him. He’d fly private, travel the globe, return to our little town, and spoil me with fancy dinners and exotic gifts. You’re probably wondering what this has to do with holistic, creative success and conscious business but bear with me. 😉

I knew I was one of many women, but hey, I was in my early twenties, and didn’t have (as my mom would say) a “pot to piss in,” I was literally dating to eat. Not super empowering I know, but being a broke single mom left me uniquely vulnerable and extremely resourceful. The contrast of his jet set, luxurious life and my scrambling-to-make-rent life was seductive, delicious really. He’d throw parties and stunning women from all over the world would attend. While he feigned disinterest, I’d watch the mating dance shimmy all around him. I thought, “I can never compete with these gorgeous women…”

But then something happened. One day on a hike, he said to me, “Listen, I’ve cleared the decks,” and then, “I’m choosing you.”

Wha?! There I was, the driver of a beat up, three tone Nissan Sentra, owner of only one decent pair of shoes and two whole pairs of pants, fumbling around with a business that hadn’t really taken off yet, in and out of the hospital with my baby boy, and here this sophisticated, wealthy, good-looking man who could choose any number of heiresses, yoga stars, or female CEO’s as his mate was “clearing the decks” for me?

I felt so honored. So, CHOSEN. So happy to be SEEN. The little girl inside me who had always been picked last for kickball simply went nuts! Of course, I played it cool, but then I went about planning his next party, helped him make a breakthrough with one of his businesses, and took on his social calendar to raise his standing in the community. I brought my baby with me on our dates, and set up camp for us in an extra room in his massive home. Needless to say, I practically moved in, and did a LOT for him because he’d “cleared the decks” and picked ME.

I’ll leave the rest to the imagination for now, as the stories are too juicy to give away in one email (and this year’s newsletters will read kind of like romance novels because too much self-help can get boring) but the lesson for this first week of the year is CLEAR THE CREATIVE DECKS for THE ONE. The one writing project, event, program, business or product you want to create…pick it and watch it bloom over the course of the year.

Become its exclusive lover and watch as your muse expands your life in unprecedented ways.

Like me, who rallied around this guy once I knew it was safe to proceed, you need to treat your business, book, and/or other creative project like an exclusive lover. When you CLEAR THE DECKS and get rid of distraction, when you pick “the one” to focus on and give your precious life force to her, then THE ONE can reward you back. And as I jumped in to make this man’s life bliss once I knew we were exclusive, this is how your creativity will feel when you CLEAR THE DECKS for more time to spend with her. Like me, who wanted to serve and please this guy for choosing me, your book, business, project or partner will scramble to serve and please your soul as soon as you decide, clarify, and cut the rest of the extraneous crap from your days, weeks, and months this year to give her your all.

So, how about we CLEAR THE DECKS and claim your one love this year? How about we sweep and store away the projects that are just sort of dancing around us in fancy dresses or flirting with us with no desire to actually seal the deal with us?  How will your memoir, business or partnership feel if it knew it was your One and Only?

Are you ready for The One? Meet me in the comments and tell me all the juicy details. See you there 🙂

With Love and Clarity,

California is surviving the third largest wildfire in its history, and it is still growing. My town of Ojai is located in the center of it all. For those of you who have been touched by Hurricane Harvey, Irma, or the fires in Northern California, you already know that Mother Nature’s force can easily topple human infrastructure in a moment’s notice. While the news cycles move on to the next political drama, those who live through a natural disaster know it takes years to recover, and that we will never be the same.

When the fire began on the December 4th, I was in New York presenting Ojai author, Michaela Boehm’s book, The Wild Woman Way. I woke up early and emailed her to ask one last question before I’d present her book to our sales team. I didn’t expect her response to be, “I’ve just lost everything, my home burned down, the barns burned, the animals are gone.” She then went on to explain in three eloquent paragraphs the answer to my question about her book. I was stunned. I quickly called my son and mom who were in our home just fifteen miles from where Michaela’s burned down and got them to evacuate. Within a few hours, the fire spread through town and burned right up to the edge of our yard.

There are more stories like this than I can possibly write here, but here are some facts: Thomas is currently the third largest wildfire in California history. At its peak, it burned a football field a second as it tore through homes, farms, my daughter’s school and over 157 homes in Ojai and 600 structures in total. Close friends have lost everything they owned. Our community has forever been changed. The air is toxic and the EPA has forced schools to shut down. While the world keeps spinning, time here has stopped, and we’ve all gotten used to wearing face mask ventilators—it looks like Armageddon.

While we’re still reeling, I’ve had some powerful insights into human nature, our drive to help others, and our lack of infrastructure to handle climate change. Enliven author, Josh Tickell is editing his film Kiss the Ground, about how to reverse climate change, while he’s become a climate refugee. Dear friends and colleagues, Mikki and Nadia Willis of conscious media company, Elevate Studios, lost their home and film studio in the flames.

How did they react? What were the first things they did?

Michaela teaches embodiment, and she has reacted with a clear mind and swift movement to find any remaining animals she had on her farm. I have seen her rally amidst the rubble that was once her sanctuary. She’s the real deal, I know it now beyond measure. (MichaelaBoehm.com)

Mikki and Nadia have made a short film about the fire and are already back in production helping the water protectors in North Dakota fight a bogus lawsuit.

Josh and Rebecca Tickell have borrowed a home in LA and are hard at work editing Kiss the Ground for the Tribeca film festival deadline. Nadia was there to take Rebecca’s son to the hospital in the midst of finding a place to live after their home burned to the ground.

How did the local businesses respond?

There were 7,000 firefighters that saved our town. The Ojai Beverage Company, Jim and Rob’s, and other local restaurants that have stayed open have been feeding them for free. Vons, a chain store, gave free food and coffee to first responders and continues to feed firefighters for free. Starbucks wouldn’t charge anyone in uniform. There are free masks and water at every public and retail location. My friends at AZU have allowed me to use their restaurant as a community gathering space to hold our response meetings. The responses of generosity, love, and compassion have been simply breathtaking.

We here at ZhenaTV started www.OjaiRelief.com. My friend James organized a technology platform that connects people who lost their homes with people offering homes and supplies. We have mobilized faster than I ever thought was possible. We have raised tens of thousands for Help of Ojai, and matched people with homes, food, jobs, clothes, and insurance claim help.

Here are the three things I have learned about success through this tragedy that I want to share with you:

1.    Nature doesn’t care if you believe in climate change or not. She’s the boss. Whatever you decide to do in your life, you must have an environmental stewardship plan attached. Be successful in life by preparing yourself for mother nature’s call.

2.    All that stuff you buy? It really means nothing. When my mom asked me what to grab from our home, I said, “The kids and the animals, leave the rest to God.” I spend a lot of time fluffing, decorating, and creating beauty around my home—but at the critical moment of evacuation, those things didn’t register on any values scale. While it’s fun to “nest,” I have found the better choice is to have less to “lose.” There is little else that matters than those you love.

3.    People’s true colors show in times of crisis. This is an obvious one. But really, I have never seen the people in my community take action as I have seen in the last week. We are holding space for each other, making eye contact, offering our homes and feeding one another. In times of crisis, success is in helping others. Remember, with a mission to serve, you cannot fail. Even those who have lost there homes, like Mikki and Nadia, have been activating the community and helping others—it’s set the tone on how to respond to crises.

And some bonus lessons on preparation: Remember that cell towers, electricity and internet will go down. Get yourself a land line again, write down people’s numbers. Know your neighbors’ names and street names. The cell towers in Ojai had gotten burned so there was no way to communicate. We’d been too familiar with town that we didn’t even know the street names to direct our firefighters. Also, get insurance. Get binders added to your insurance policy.

And beyond these things, become active in saving our environment from further degradation. We need your voice, we need your hands, we need your heart and mind. Be relentless in protecting nature.

And if you want to help, please visit our site: www.OjaiRelief.com – it will guide you.  Thank-you dear ones, I send you love from the depths of my being, and look forward to serving your heart and soul with inspiration in 2018.

Comment below -I’d love to hear what you have learned from the Thomas Fire, or your own experience with Mother Nature.

Love,