The Déjà vu Loop of Fulfilling Your Destiny
Do you ever feel that you’re in a loop of behavior that keeps you from seeing the way forward?
Do your habitual thoughts feel at times to be limiting your opportunities? Even subconsciously?
The deeper the thinking grooves are, the more entrenched we are in our past, which causes us to miss the present moment lever which can catapult us out of a repeating pattern and into the trajectory of our soul’s growth.
If you’ve read Life by the Cup or know anything of my story, you know that my son, Sage, is the reason I started my last tea company: Zhena’s Gypsy Tea. It was started to support us and pay for his operations, which it did, and it gave us a platform to do the same for tea workers worldwide. Sage had several major operations from newborn to toddlerhood and finally in sixth grade received a clean bill of health. It was a long journey. Since then, every time he got sick or had a fever, I would go right back to the panic mode that assured swift action to change the situation. I had panic and urgency engrained in my psyche.
The tea company is now gone, per the investors who managed it since I left in 2013. But it remains a feather in my cap of life, a totem symbolizing the strength of motherhood.
Last month, I launched Magic Hour. It’s a tea and transformation company whose mission is to create ceremonies and rituals of connection on a daily basis. As I relaunched another tea company, I did expect the old thinking and habits to arise again. What I didn’t realize is the external feedback of the universe would send along lessons for me and Sage of the unhealed parts of ourselves.
Last Friday, just after I filmed my Magic Hour Session for this month’s box: REBIRTH (irony? Ha). I got a call from Sage that he had to go to the emergency room and was being transported to the hospital in Ventura due to old scar tissue from his surgeries as a baby blocking his digestive tract. Gerard and I rushed down there and Sage’s dad—who was a big point of conflict for me since Sage’s birth—was there already. We spent the night watching over Sage.
Four days later, we’d gone through all of the ups and downs of Sage’s infancy and created harmony around the situation. Sage’s dad worked with me—not against me. Gerard was able to care for our daughter. Instead of the poor care we’d had when he was an infant, we had stellar care due to the fact that Gerard has excellent insurance for us. All of the pain points of the initial situation were resolved. There was no conflict. The entire medical team marveled at how well the room smelled (of course I brought essential oils and a diffuser), and they couldn’t believe how many synchronicities magically happened around Sage’s care. With a lot of love and a lot less fear than in the past, we were able to miraculously avoid surgery.
We got to have a “redo” of our past pains and grievances, struggles and fears.
This is how karma and the loop of healing works. We get to relive and relive a situation over and over until we heal the negativity and live in the present. A new tea company, old scar tissue. A new opportunity for us to create something beautiful, old grievances that need healing. A new life—Sage is an adult now—an old idea that he is “sick.” But he’s no longer sick. We’re no longer victims of circumstance.
While this is an extreme example, it’s something we live with every day. It could be that you once received terrible news via email and now you avoid clearing your inbox. Or you were once hurt by a female colleague and now live with low-grade distrust of other female colleagues. It could be that you had a terrible heartbreak and now always keep a part of yourself safe from your relationships instead of being “all in.” Whatever it is, when you heal it, the world becomes much more possible for you.
You are able to leave the “charge” of your past by feeling peace about your present.
As I’ve been meditating on the past week, and how the whole thing played out, I realized that a presence meditation would be so beautifully useful for us all now. With the New Moon in Pisces tomorrow, we have a chance to be reborn and cleanse our past of grievances and old hurts.
If you cannot join us for our free New Moon gathering tomorrow, that’s no problem, here is a practice you can bring to your heart to cleanse and rebirth.
Rebirth Meditation
Sit in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes. Dab your favorite essential oil on your pulse points—I often use Bergamot, Sandalwood and/or Lavender.
Take 4 deep breaths into your heart, envisioning it glowing green.
1. As you exhale the first time, envision the glow growing into your entire chest.
2. On the second exhale, imagine the green glow filling your neck and throat, into your brain and above your head.
3. 3rd exhale, envision the green glow now filling your stomach, pelvic area, thighs and knees.
4. 4th exhale, see the green glow oozing down through your feet and watering the earth, see it filling the roots below the surface of the earth.
With each breath in repeat:
I am ever present to the present.
With each exhale repeat:
I receive the lesson of the past and wash it in the light of my heart.
Repeat this 3 times, or until you feel you’ve removed the “charge” you still may feel of the past situation or the present situation you wish to overcome or transmute. You can apply this to past pains, frustrations with people or the system, or you can use it to shift your mind when you can’t see how to move forward in a situation whether it be personal or professional.
Oh, and yes, this month’s March Box for Magic Hour is wildly on point: Rebirth & Raise the Vibe. I came up with this before this situation presented itself, and yes, time must not be linear as it was exactly what I relied on during this whole week. Sage felt the love too, he’s home today and I am mothering and pampering him with the best high-vibe tea, broth, and Reiki.
We are only as powerful as our courage to move from pain and fear to possibility and growth.
Our lives are the laboratory of the divine. We are fortunate to get to live on planet earth where consciousness and energy can be transmuted by our willingness and intention.
I hope you will tell me how this practice helps you shift a moment or share any of your thoughts in the comments below.
I am forever grateful for your friendship and sharing with me here, I know that we are one and when I grow, you grow and when you grow, I grow. Stay tuned for some upcoming workshops and events I’m planning after my Portugal trip in a couple of weeks. And remember, when we are present, we are in choice, and when we are harboring the past, we are stuck. Let’s leave that stuckness to the elements that do it best
In Light,
