The Dark Night of the Soul: Creativity Blooms at the Edge
I’m in Loveland, Colorado this week sitting at the feet of master storyteller, author and divine teacher Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes—the author of Women Who Run with Wolves (my all-time favorite book).
We are learning about Original Voice and the soul of creativity. Dr. E has taken us through several days of story based on the Dark Night of the Soul poem by St. John of the Cross who wrote it while locked away in prison by anti-reformists. Here is the poem as translated from Spanish.
STANZAS OF THE SOUL
One dark night,
fired with love’s urgent longings
— ah, the sheer grace! —
I went out unseen,
my house being now all stilled.
In darkness, and secure,
by the secret ladder, disguised,
— ah, the sheer grace! —
in darkness and concealment,
my house being now all stilled.
On that glad night,
in secret, for no one saw me,
nor did I look at anything,
with no other light or guide
than the one that burned in my heart.
This guided me
more surely than the light of noon
to where he was awaiting me
— him I knew so well —
there in a place where no one appeared.
O guiding night!
O night more lovely than the dawn!
O night that has united
the Lover with his beloved,
transforming the beloved in her Lover.
Upon my flowering breast
which I kept wholly for him alone,
there he lay sleeping,
and I caressing him
there in a breeze from the fanning cedars.
When the breeze blew from the turret,
as I parted his hair,
it wounded my neck
with its gentle hand,
suspending all my senses.
I abandoned and forgot myself,
laying my face on my Beloved;
all things ceased; I went out from myself,
leaving my cares
forgotten among the lilies.
Dr. Estes is using each stanza of this poem to show that the creative self cannot, even when imprisoned, starved and tortured, be completely taken from us. Our creative force will prevail even when the “over-culture”—what Dr. E calls society, its pressures and judgments—threatens to hold us captive. We are born to be creative. We are the containers of creative life force.
What holds your creativity captive? What aims to distract, squash and beat the creative voice, the originality and “weirdness” with which you were born into submission? Let us take a look at the modern versions of St. John’s prison.
Social Media: How much time is healthy & how much is imprisonment? Do you find yourself scrolling when you should be creating? Yeah, me too. Let’s stop it!
Politics: and as Dr. E calls: 1-inch deep news: I know I can’t take my eyes off of the news app on my phone at times. It’s all story, and I am obsessed with story. BUT, deleting the App has freed me to have more hours and focus on my creative work. Even in the voting season, get your key info and get out of dodge lest it create anger or confusion in you.
Money Pressures: How many of you can’t write because you have to work? Oh, this is my favorite “excuse.” But guess what? Dr. E wrote Women Who Run with Wolves in 10-20 minute increments as a single mom, full time student with two jobs. Yikes, that kinda washes away our pansy ass excuse ha!
Doubt and Shame: These are the monsters of the psyche and they’re out to smoosh your creative child spirit to smithereens. I don’t know about you, but I am not apt to give these illusions another dollop of my precious life force. Sure, I doubt my writing and yes, there is a little shame punch going around in my creative cup, but from where do these things come? The past. And where will they keep us? The past. Where do you want to live? Me too. NOW.
Busyness: Being busy is like spinning wheels in mud. You expend extraordinary energy but accomplish little. You can look at your accomplishments at the end of the day and realize you were busy but ineffective. This is a common form of being captive. Your ego thinks that being busy will keep you from being useless, and that daydreaming, writing, and/or creating will be a waste of time because you might not get that publishing deal or sale anyway. This is BS and must be stopped. Stop being busy, and focus instead on a goal like 1,000 words a day, or a stanza of a poem a day, or…
Ambition: “Ego sabotages the creative force by ambition.” –Dr. E said this today in our session and I almost choked on my Earl Grey. Yes, she’s right. I can’t tell you how many people asked me as a publisher, “How do you write a bestseller?” I always said back, “A bestseller cannot be manufactured.” The ego will demand of your creative work more than it can deliver. That’s the most dangerous way to kill your idea before it’s had time to see the light of day. Stay away from ambition and instead focus on your craft. A bestseller is built by craft, not by wanting fame or fortune.
The Dark Night of the Soul shows us that nothing that is real can truly be threatened, and that your true creative force cannot be extinguished—unless you allow it to be.
I recommend reading the poem each time you feel you cannot go on. Remember that St. John was locked up in a cell with no room to do anything other than stand. He had no light except for that of the cell next to him. He was fed salted fish scraps, bread and water. And yet, he created, wrote, and praised God with every cell in his humble body.
We cannot afford to let the world or our ego take us under. We need to be creating AND FINISHING the creative projects that will ensure our soul’s freedom and expression on earth. Take the time to follow that call. Know that you are called and no one else on this planet can say it or sing it the way you can.
And know this:
“Time is the only asset you can’t get more of.”
–Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Now go write, dance, sing, and create, beloveds.
With Infinite Inspiration,
Zhena
