3 Things To Do When They All Say You Can’t
Dear Reader,
This weekend was the youth festival in Ojai. As I stood in line with my four-year-old, Mia, a few parents approached me to thank me for the tea they drink with an anecdote of how the product gives them joy or made a difference in their life somehow. Amazing. I didn’t expect this, and I marveled at what a contrast it was from the decade ago+ when I was peddling an idea rather than a product, and how rough that was in comparison.
When I was starting the tea company, I felt so alone. Every time people asked what I was doing, and I told them, they would look at me as if I had three eyes and say something along the lines of, “There are a million tea companies, why do that?” or “Gypsies pick-pocketed me once in Europe! Why name a company after them?” or my favorite, “Oh sounds great, you should do that, by the way, the local Carrows is hiring. You should apply…just in case.” I spent a lot of time defending my idea, bolstering my talking points with statistics showing the need for another tea company, and going into a sales mode to convince them that my tea would be different enough to succeed. It took a lot of energy.
It’s harrowing to navigate others’ opinions and I want to give you these 3 tools for helping to bolster your confidence in pursuing your dream.
1. Be enthused, but not overbearing. Here’s what this means: when you are secure in an idea, it doesn’t make you push it on others. It lights a flame in your heart, it adds a lilt to your voice and a spring in your step, but it doesn’t try too hard to convince others of it’s validity. Enthusiasm allows others to see that something is happening for you, yet they are allowed to have opinions too. Being enthused about your new idea should fuel bright conversations, not limit them. Being enthused means that you find opportunities to tell your story and your idea to others, but you don’t overwhelm them. You want to engage and excite others, but also let them have time to talk about what’s going on in their lives, if you don’t give space for your idea to flourish in conversations by giving the other some time to speak, you will lose fans more often than engaging them. Every time you tell your idea to another, take a 4 second breath in afterward to center and allow them the space to speak.
2. When the idea is solid and real, it cannot be threatened. This is from the Course in Miracles: nothing real can be threatened. So many ideas come and go, which is why many people do not believe that yours will see the light of day. When you start sensing doubt in others, it’s a reflection of the doubt you have yourself and that can be a scary thing to see and feel. But, know this: an idea that is meant to be born will be. If you are meant to bring an idea, business or piece of art into the world, you will. So, when others are expressing doubt about your idea, you can repeat this mantra in your head: “Nothing that is real can be threatened, I am guided to bring this idea into the world.”
3. Stories are the Soul. Because you need buy in, you need to be a story teller. The human psyche relates to stories. We remember stories of valor, courage and miracles. We retell compelling stories we heard through the day at the dinner table. We share stories over tea and coffee and at the office. Stories are your idea’s best friend. Contextualize your idea through a story. In my upcoming book, Life by the Cup, I tell stories to illuminate ideas like: Collaborate to be Great, and Pride Cannot Feed a Baby. The collaboration story is a favorite among early readers, and they remember the idea because the story is relatable. I want my readers to remember these powerful life lessons, but I do not expect them to remember them without a story to speak to their hearts. All brands out in the world are working hard to tell stories via social media, ads, charitable efforts–but very few have stories that will be remembered for long because they are thought up in a creative meeting, they weren’t born of an individual’s truest experience of life. The reason the tea company got onto the shelves of thousands of stores nationwide was because we were “ending poverty for tea workers” not because we were selling tea. Look at the elements BEHIND your idea, how it came to you, what it means to the world, and how it will impact the listener. Telling stories will get you further than peddling an idea when it comes to naysayers. Tell them a story that speaks to their heart and watch them turn from naysayer to supporter.
In conclusion, if you can clarify and master these understandings about your idea, you will have a much better time navigating the negative. And one final tip, you can neutralize any negativity by having compassion, for the person who is being negative is probably scared of failure for you and themselves. Know that by holding them in compassion, you will have more confidence to make the impossible possible.
Here’s to your dreams, my friend, I look forward to hearing how you deal with naysayers in the comments section below.
In Service,
Zhena
Zhena@Zhena.TV
