3 Lessons from my Gypsy Grandmother You Can Use Today
Dear Reader,
Much of our wisdom is passed down through experiences and are not written. I am sharing some old wisdom in today’s post from which I believe you will gain perspective. Simple tips from a Gypsy woman, a woman who has been so heavy on my mind as the Ukraine goes through turmoil, I can hear her thick Ukrainian accent talking to me as a child, and I want to share with you so you may learn from a woman who impacted my life so greatly, and who instilled a strength in me that has ensured I never gave up in business, creativity, parenting and on love.
I grew up in a Ukrainian household. Grandma Maria was our “Mama” and Grandpa Pietro was “Tata.” Great grandma, Priscia, was simply Ma. Their english wasn’t great, their understanding of American culture bordered on insanity, they put all of our western beliefs and systems into the context of their past. Maria, or Mama, was so superstitious that when a black cat crossed the street, she made us turn around and drive at least 10 blocks away in order to cross, in case the black cat had stepped foot on any of the surrounding streets. If we opened an umbrella in the house, the devil would somehow be invited to dinner (I know), and dreams were the greatest omens, if you told Mama a dream she painstakingly analyzed it for clues to God’s great plan for you or for signs of a pregnancy, marriage or impending doom.
She hid her heritage. Back in the Ukraine, she had been reviled, beaten, starved by the Stalin Regime. A Jewess married a Gypsy and Maria was born, but the racism and hatred seared fear into her and she tucked away her identity, her bloodline, so tidily that only her family and my grandfather knew. When my grandfather found her, she and her family were living under a bridge in Germany. Frightened to come out and ask for water. He brought them water and soon married Maria. He had just survived 5 years in Sachsenhausen concentration camp for being a U.N.O (Ukrainian Nationalist–a guerrilla fighter) and soon he brought her to the US, he had a golden ticket to California for the work he had done on the US’s behalf in the war.
Maria could only hide her bloodline to a degree, her wisdom was unconventional; ideas of the world magical. Faith was the central theme. She prayed nearly every minute of every day. She sent care packages to her sister, Zena, who had remained in Kharkiv. She wrote long, beautiful letters to her and in return got short, blacked out notes on thin paper. She cried over the words that had been censored, but she never gave up on Zena’s well-being, sending monthly packages of flour, boots, scarves, even tea cups.
There is much I learned from Mama, but these three things are rising to the top of my memories as I watch the news about the Ukraine and pray for my family still there.
1. Be Passionate. “No matter what, Zenitska, be passionate. God doesn’t want you to be lukewarm, be either hot or cold but be passionate for what you believe in.”
2. Feed People. “Zenitska, where there is food, there is a home.” Mama fed us nonstop, she baked bread around the clock, she fed neighbors, her congregation, neighborhood cats, birds, all of life could count on a meal from Mama, all they had to do was to show up and she’d present a mouthwatering dish of dumplings, or a plate of sweet bread and homemade jam, from her heart. And of course tea came with it.
3. Look everyone in the eye. So many people look away, or down when speaking. Mama taught us to always look people in the eye, to show our strength and to see the weakness or strength in others through looking at their eyes. This advice is great for business, for marriages, for everyone. It builds bonds or ensures you don’t create bonds with people who cannot look you in the eye.
Where can you use these wisdom teachings in your own life? Where are you being lukewarm where you can be passionate? Where can you feed people and nurture your soul in the process? Where are you avoiding eye contact because of what you might see?
Much of the wisdom from Mama can be found in my upcoming book, Life by the Cup. But there will be more and more seeping through my writing as I develop my own voice, because I am finding that much of my voice is in fact hers.
With Love, and eye contact 🙂
Zhena
